Today is a particularly non-cranky day so if you were hoping for a cranky post go ahead and read North Korean thug-in-chief leader Kim Jon Un's blog "1000 Reasons I Hate America and My Plan to Bomb Austin, Texas".
As you may know, I like to drink vodka. Tito's vodka in particular (made in Texas). I used to go to the trouble of putting the vodka in a martini shaker adding a whiff of vermouth and some ice and shaking it before pouring it in an icy martini glass. I liked the ritual of doing that but waiting so long (as much as 5 minutes at times) for a martini made me cranky. So I started just pouring Tito's in a highball glass, tossing in a few ice cubes and enjoying. I named that drink a "Liztini" to make myself feel less like an alcoholic and more like a classy chick. It works for me. I drink a lot of Liztini's and not one has ever disappointed me.
However, sometimes I like to have a Liztini at, say, 5 pm instead of 7 pm. Earlier drinking means earlier passing out falling asleep and that means an abbreviated evening with my husband. Not good. So I decided to take a cue from my dear friend Andreana and mix my vodka with Sprite. To my amazement I loved it...it is a delicious and refreshing drink which isn't too heavy to drink earlier in the day.
So to honor the woman who brought me this lovely drink I named it "The Andreana". Now I have 2 favorite drinks. As a side note, let me say that I ordered an Andreana the other night when I was out with my friend Stephanie and I thought Stephanie was going to have a heart attack. She had never seen me order anything other than a Liztini and she really flipped out. If I had known her reaction would be so over the top (think seizure mixed with Tourrete-like outbursts) I would have taken a video and it would have gone viral already. I don't always plan ahead though. Sorry about that...it was pretty priceless (Stephanie hates change of any kind even changes in her friends' drinking behavior).
Today I was thinking about the fact that naming a drink after a friend is pretty much the highest honor you can give them. Besides naming your kid after them or voting for them for President. And I got to thinking about drinks that would fit my varied friends' personalities. Following is a list of drinks named after the friends whom I think most resemble them:
The Stephanie: 10% water mixed with 90% sugar or Splenda (I would never drink this crap)
The Lauren (Huffman): 2 oz of a white wine spritzer (girlfriend is a lightweight)
The Lauren (Farwell): Water in a plastic bottle. Its all she freaking drinks.
The Robin (Cox): Straight shots of tequila at noon.
The Martta: Imagine the most complicated drink ever made with at least 40 ingredients. Some of the ingredients would be very expensive and imported from far away lands like those islands off the coast of Japan that the Chinese are trying to lay claim to. This drink would take at least 14 hours to make. It doesn't even matter what is in it because you and I would never have heard of the ingredients but Martta would devote an entire weekend to making 1 oz of it (not to mention writing a blog post about it and 50 photos on Pinterest). Meanwhile ,I would already be drunk on Liztinis so I wouldn't get to taste it.
The Susan (Shock): Dr Pepper
The Alisha: The dream of red wine. Just a dream. She is pregnant and more than a little annoyed about not being able to drink red wine. When I dream of wine I think of Alisha.
The Amy (Morgan): A chocolate protein shake with a chocolate chip cookie garnish.
The Meg (Cutts): Hot tea served English style with milk and other crap in it.
The Clare (Yeakel): Wine. Any kind. Lots of wine. Like a vat of it. A vat so big you could swim in it. Then imagine Clare laughing her ass off as she drinks at least 1 bottle of it.
The Aruni: 1 glass of red wine (a big zinfandel) after which she would be rendered giggly and demanding to watch House of Cards on Netflix for hours on end. It's not pretty.
The Kristi (Koch): Pims and soda. Classiest drink ever.
The Stacy (Jones): Kentucky Bourbon mixed with sprite and consumed at a concert. Preferably some kind of Appalachian rock music that we have never heard of.
The Amy (Warner): Amy makes this fruity drink with vodka, sprite and some kind of really sweet pink mixer. She calls it a Pink Panty Dropper. The Amy = Pink Panty Dropper.
The Cindy (Thompson): Frozen margarita.
The Regina (Robinson): Drink? She has no time to drink. She works 47 hours a day. But she wants a Corona so the next time I drink a Corona I will call it a Regina.
The Leif (Madsen): Oban single malt Scotch served neat. After you drink this you apparently become infused with peace and love of all things in the universe. That's what I think happened to Leif anyway.
The Alex (Moir): Sazerac because he is the only person I know who has ever tried one.
The Shawn (Haugen): German beer. Any kind is fine.
The Elda (Martinez): Shiner bock. Served ice cold and with a side of red meat. Then more Shiner. Do not stop pouring the Shiner!!!
The Peter (Fithian): Beer made by Libertarians from the blood of liberals.
The Mike (Radle): whole milk. Yeah he is the one person in America that drinks it.
The O'Flynn: Guinness beer poured perfectly. Stephen O'Flynn can explain how the perfect pour is done but you need about 3 hours to absorb the complexity of this uniquely Irish feat.
The Julie (England): 1% milk (with cookies)
The Laurel (Lyle): Gin and tonic but the tonic must be homemade
The O'Flynn: Guinness beer poured perfectly. Stephen O'Flynn can explain how the perfect pour is done but you need about 3 hours to absorb the complexity of this uniquely Irish feat.
The Julie (England): 1% milk (with cookies)
The Laurel (Lyle): Gin and tonic but the tonic must be homemade
The Jonathan (Hogue): Weller bourbon with 3 ice.
If I think of other drinks I could name after my friends I will add to this but for now, cheers.
