I have a lot of grievances to share right now. If you don't like it go read someone else's blog.
1. People who can't handle their alcohol (I call them lightweights or rookies) and call you the day after they have been out drinking with you to follow up on the drunken travel plans you made together. Every serious drinker knows that plans made when drinking do not count. Unless the plan is to do Jaegermeister shots and get late-night nachos.
2. People who tell me they are in a "huge hurry" for me to deliver a resume to them and then when I rearrange my schedule and rush to accommodate them, don't bother to get back to me with the feedback I need to finalize the resume. Inevitably these people tell me, "Oh well, I changed my mind about applying for X job so now I am not in a hurry". If you do this to me rest assured that you will find yourself on my shit list. Forever.
3. Boring stories told by boring people.
4. American Idol. I just don't get that show. For most of the season the contestants suck so badly that listening, for even a second, is pure torture. Then, finally, they eliminate all the contestants whose voices sound like a cat that's being strangled and get down to the 2 or 3 people who have even a shred of talent. That whole show could be reduced to one hour of decent singing rather than several months worth of a horrific freak show.
5. Survivor. Dumbest show ever. Maybe the first season made sense but for every subsequent season it seems insane that anyone would sign up to hang out on a bug infested island. Let me break it down for you: You, the contestant, agree to be filmed 24X7 while you are hungry, thirsty, living under some banana leaves, and are on the verge of getting intestinal parasites from drinking filthy water and pooping in a jungle. They, the TV crew/producers/director, on the other hand, are well fed, have air conditioned trailers, and probably get free anti-malaria pills and band aids. The only way I would watch this show is if it devolved into the contestants getting fed up with the producers, attacking them , stealing their food/water, and resorting to cannibalism (they could roast the producers over a spit). Come to think of it, that would be some good TV.
6. Mini-cars like Smart Cars and Priuses. They make sense in Chicago or NY but for crying out loud people, don't drive a midget sized car outside of a city. I, in my giant SUV, might run over you in your tiny/slow car and that would bum me out for at least an hour. Plus, Prius drivers all seem so self congratulatory and self righteous. Makes me want to go get a Hummer so I can leave an even bigger carbon footprint when I die. I want to be a carbon Sasquatch. Yeah, I went there.
7. Clowns. Hate 'em. No explanation required.
8. Bears seem to be encroaching on human territory more and more. I saw a story on the news the other day about this girl who got a new car and somehow, when she wasn't around, a bear OPENED THE CAR DOOR and got in and trashed her car. Ate parts of it. I have been saying for years that bears are a menace and I think that if the US Government wanted to do something useful they would round up all the bears and put them on a reservation or a desert island. Wait a minute...would that be racist? Or maybe "bearist" is the right term here? Whatever, I don't want a bear in my car. Ever. So whatever needs to happen to make that a certainty is OK with me.
9. Graphic stories about children getting potty trained. (Yeah Stephanie, I am looking at you right now)
10. Time Warner Cable. They suck in like 15 different ways. I could probably devote about 10 posts to them but, frankly, I would lose interest halfway through. Cannot wait until Google Fiber launches in Austin so I can flip TWC the bird.
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